“A couple of months after joining Google, I had a disagreement with Larry Page about his approach to a policy. In a fit of frustration, I sent an email to about thirty people, including Larry, which said, “Larry claims he wants to organize the world’s information, but his policy is creating ‘clutter sites,’ muddling the world’s information.” I went on to imply that he was recommending the policy because he was focused on increasing Google’s revenue rather than doing the right thing for users.”

“The incident with Larry is a good example of how criticism can be obnoxiously aggressive if you don’t care personally. I probably thought I was being Radically Candid—“speaking truth to power”—but I wasn’t. It was a clear-cut case of “front-stabbing.” Better than backstabbing, but still really bad. The first problem with my email was that it wasn’t humble. I had just joined the company, and I didn’t understand much about how Google’s systems worked. Nor had I bothered to find out why Larry might be taking the stance he was taking. Instead, I just made a bunch of assumptions and concluded—wrongly, as it turned out—that Larry was more concerned with making money than he was with Google’s mission. Furthermore, my suggestions were not at all helpful because I didn’t fully understand the underlying issue that Larry was trying to address. My other miscalculation was criticizing Larry in a public forum, rather than in private, which would have been the respectful thing to do. And worst of all, I personalized. I should have been talking about the AdSense policy, but instead I attacked Larry’s character, implicitly accusing him of being greedy and hypocritical. As I would see over and over in the next six years at Google, Larry was certainly neither of those things. He was fair and consistent. But the point here is that I shouldn’t have been talking about Larry’s character, either positively or negatively. I was personalizing.”

这里说了和larry page的一个故事，作者在不了解整个背景的情况下，公开的发email指责larry本人虚伪和贪婪。作者说这是典型的Obnoxiously aggressive criticism

  1. 作者刚加入google不久，对整个事情没有详细的了解，也不知道google是怎么样工作的
  2. 对于批评最好是私下里先进行
  3. 对于指责的本身没有专注于事情，而是说别人的品格。

“MANIPULATIVELY INSINCERE GUIDANCE happens when you don’t care enough about a person to challenge directly. People give praise and criticism that is manipulatively insincere when they are too focused on being liked or think they can gain some sort of political advantage by being fake—or when they are just too tired to care or argue any more. Guidance that is manipulatively insincere rarely reflects what the speaker actually thinks; rather, it’s an attempt to push the other person’s emotional buttons in return for some personal gain. “He’ll be happy if I tell him I liked his stupid presentation, and that will make my life easier than explaining why it sucked. In the long run, though, I really need to find someone to replace him.”

对于MANIPULATIVELY INSINCERE，基本上就是

  1. 想着自己怎么得到别人的好感而不是真正帮助别人，表里不一
  2. 完全没有精力和想法去帮助他人，但又不愿意去真实地表达这一点

“That’s why Colin Powell said leadership is sometimes about being willing to piss people off. When you are overly worried about how people will perceive you, you’re less willing to say what needs to be said. Like Jony, you may feel it’s because you care about the team, but really, in those all-too-human moments you may care too much about how they feel about you—in other words, about yourself. I’ve been there, too. We all have.”

作为领导者，不能总想着别人对你的感受，而是怎么让团队做好。想着别人对你的感受，其实就只是在关心你自己。